The White Guy's Menopause.
I was a lifelong Democrat. Then I turned 41 and my body started to change. I started going through the natural biological process all white straight men will go through at some point in their lives. I was becoming a Republican. This is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a natural part of life and we should learn to embrace it. Becoming a Republican is like our menopause.
White Guy’s Menapause (WGM) is diagnosed by a period of 12 months where you no longer agree with anything you watch on CNN or MSNBC. I started experiencing symptoms of White Guy’s Menapause when I was watching the Black Lives Matter protests and the George Floyd riots on CNN in the summer of 2020. I watched a reporter say they were “most peaceful” as he stood in front of a burning building and I started getting hot flush. For the next several months I began having rapid mood swings as I watched ANTIFA and BLM torch the county as our Democratic leaders applauded and demanded to defund police. I was terribly upset when I watched George Floyd, a career criminal who held a gun to a pregnant woman’s belly who died resisting arrest in the midst of a Fentanyl overdose have murals painted of him with a halo and angel wings. Meanwhile no one cared that David Dorn, a respectable black man in St. Louis community and a committed family man was killed while trying to help his friend in the riots caused by George Floyd’s death, and no seemed to care.
I began having digestive problems also. The mere sight of men having babies suddenly began making me want to throw up in my mouth a little. And I got terrible acid reflux when I saw public schools claim that math was racist.
I used to fall asleep watching CNN. I’d even use it for background noise and I’d sleep like a a baby. However, once I reached white guy’s menapause, the mere sound of that smug sounding gay voice of Don Lemon or that meatheaded punch-drunk sounding New Jersey bafoon Chris Cuomo and I would wake up soaking wet with night sweats. I also started getting headaches daily as a result of Brian Stelter lecturing me about wearing a mask or Rachel Maddow ranting and raving about Donald Trump and Russia. My libido diminished also, but mostly only after seeing a picture of Nancy Pelosi.
Women experience dizzy spells as a symptom of menopause, which is caused by fluctuating hormone levels. Straight white men also experience these dizzy spells once they reach their own menopause, but they are usually the result of watching a Dr. Fauci interview and seeing how he gaslights the American people, contradicts himself, gets everything wrong without ever admitting it, as he shifts blame away from his own ingonarance. His arrogance and gross incompetence would force me to have to lie down for a little.
After I reached White Guy’s Menapause, my anxiety levels increased dramatically. This was not caused by any hormone changes. It occurred once I saw the LGBQT indoctrination such as a gay pride parade on Blues Clues and Gonzo from the Muppet Babies transition. It made me worry about the future for our children as permanant sex changes are becoming normalized in children as young as six.
Similar to a woman’s menapause, muscle tension and hair loss are symptoms of menapause in straight white men as well. While in women this is a result of hormonal changes and decline in oestrogen and progesterone. In men’s menopause this is largely caused by watching men play women’s sports. Having a 13 year old daughter who plays soccer and softball, once I saw a giant muscular high school boy pretending to be a girl and dominated girls sports and when I saw that trans lady break that woman’s orbital bone in an MMA fight my neck tightened and my hair immediately began falling out.
I’ve had White Guy’s Menapause for about 2 years now and I am very happy with my life now. My symptoms have subsided and I enjoy a healthy dose of Fox News, Joe Rogan, Candace Owens, Ben Shapiro and the whole cast at the Daily Wire, Dan Crenshaw, Thomas Sowell, Larry Elder, and even Jordan Peterson who is a psychologist that Democrats for some reason. I still watch CNN and mainstream media and I even read Time Magazine, but I don’t experience symptoms anymore. Now I just do it for something to laugh at or complain about to my new Conservative friends. A lot changed in my since I went through White Guy’s Menapause. Now I yell at my kids for not playing outside enough and I start most conversations these days with, “I was watching Tucker last night…”